Robinson Crusoe: great human

Being marooned alone on an island would be a terrible fate for any social primate. A hairy ape might express his frustration by pissing in the ocean in a vain attempt to annoy the fish. Eventually, he might hammer his head against a tree trunk in boredom and despair. But Robinson Crusoe, although fully aware of and much saddened by his predicament, does not allow his spirit to be crushed. He uses the human desire for comfort to his advantage by busying himself with little tasks from which he derives a sense of achievement and purpose.

Although he does not mention it in his journal, it is barely conceivable that Crusoe could have gone without occasionally relieving his sexual tension. But we may concede this point without in any way accepting that such incidents had acquired the status of a cherished pastime, let alone a ruling passion. If a lower breed of human male had found himself in Crusoe’s position, one might imagine that his life would revolve around his daily wank. He would ration whatever lubricants he had salvaged from the shipwreck for use in his masturbatory activities. Tiring of self-abuse, the fauna and flora of the island would no doubt soon fall victim to his lust.

But Robinson Crusoe has a noble human trait: the ability to put the spiritual above the corporeal. He lives in a universe of hopes and dreams, rather than soaps and creams. When Man Friday emerges, his thoughts are of friendship with another human being rather than same-sex coupling. There is certainly no evidence that any kind of sexual activity occurred between them, and insinuations of this kind should be strongly resisted by those who honour the memory of Crusoe.

Lastly, we should note that when Crusoe is rescued he pulls together the threads of his old life without seeking celebrity or attempting to sell his story to a newspaper. A true alpha male does not prostitute the events of his life to the curiosity of the vulgar rabble. Instead, like Crusoe, he calmly puts his business affairs in order, while generously rewarding those who have helped him. He also delivers his enemies to the iron hand of justice, pending a fair trial and the hangman’s noose - may God have mercy on their souls.

I leave you with the Robinson Crusoe
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