Discriminatory pricing

A shocking case of gender discrimination has erupted in Brazil. A hotel catering for the needs of gay men is charging women over 100 times as much for a room. Douglas Drummond, the tanned and moustachioed owner of the Chilli Pepper Single Hotel, insists the policy is justified by the “different specific care” that women require.

“Everything is directed towards the gay man,” he explained. “The smells, colours and settings are chosen for their comfort.”

Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t gay men much closer to women in their preferences for interior design? As far as I can tell, a good many of them have adopted the persona of a bitchy and emotional woman. The excuse given by Drummond is surely nothing but dissembling and prevarication. He ought to hang his head in shame for making women pay through their noses for residing in his establishment. Any fool can see that his aim is to exclude them entirely. He may as well put up a sign saying “No wrinkly butts and women allowed”.

The manager of the safari camp sniggered wickedly when I mentioned this story to him.

“They want to screw them in their purses because they can’t screw them anywhere else!” he chortled obscenely. “Who knows – maybe some women will pay the high rates to watch gay men having sex.”

“Are women interested in such things?” I asked.

“Why wouldn’t they be?” he replied. “Men love watching lesbians, don’t they?”

His premise that men and women are symmetric in their pornographic preferences was questionable. I doubt that women admire men’s bodies as much as men admire theirs. Flashers don’t get arrested unless they are men.

One shouldn’t assume, of course, that the only reason for a woman to stay in a hotel full of gay men would be to engage in voyeurism. Many gay men have doting mothers who would wish to accompany them on their vacations. And let’s not forget all the fag-hags who like to go on shopping trips with their gay boyfriends. It would be totally wrong to charge such women punitive rates in a misguided attempt to create a gay ghetto. The biggest poof on Earth would get bored of staying in a place like that.

I’m not suggesting, of course, that the hotel should open its doors to any woman who contracted a whim to hang out with gay men. Some women clearly lack the necessary interpersonal skills. An example of such is Dr Elizabeth Jasiak, the Polish psychiatrist who is facing a disciplinary hearing for addressing her colleagues by nicknames such as “Mr Pieface” and “Sausage Tits”. I don’t think gay men could handle that kind of abuse from a domineering woman. A good many of them might flounce off in a huff.

The common-sense solution would be to vet any woman who booked a room to make sure she had experience of gay men and understood their peculiar sensitivities. I should imagine a short questionnaire could sort out the sheep from the goats.

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